I don't want to post my baby's picture on social media.
Hi! This is Carla. Welcome to the Inspector Mama™️ podcast.
This is the first ever episode of the podcast and I'm so excited to have you here. Thank you!
First, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Carla. I'm a first-time mom and I'm a little neurotic. When our family doctor wants to prescribe something - I research it and I ask for more information. When I have to purchase something new, like a sippy cup or a potty, I research it. If someone recommends a new moisturizer... I want to know.. what's in it? My "extra nature" may have been compounded by the fact that I am a Registered Environmental Health Specialist- a.ka. a health inspector, and 90% of my job when I was a regulator was literally looking at and reading the fine print. Soon my Earth Angel, I decided to stop working and I pursued other opportunities - like Inspector Mama™️! Now, I help first time parents with baby safety questions.
First, Mama, I want to tell you that you are not a crazy first time mom. Honestly, it doesn't matter if this is your first or 10th baby. Online privacy has to be integrated into the parenting tool kit for millenial parents. As our society and culture evolve, parenting will also begin to look different. It's important to remember that when people post and like pictures of your child on the internet, it is the equivalent of walking into your home and looking at your child. You wouldn't open the door and just let anyone inside.
I have some ideas for you:
Since you are currently pregnant, go ahead and tell If your family and friends that you want to keep your child's picture off of social media. This can be as simple as, Hey y'all I just wanted to ask you to keep picture of the baby private. We don't want to post them on the internet. They may ask you why and you can tell them your reasons or simply state that you don't want to put them online. No is a complete sentence.
You could put a sign on your front door and/or the hospital or birth center door that says something like "Please help us protect our child's privacy and do not post pictures of him online."
Something else to keep in mind - Would you like to announce the birth of your child on social media? Or would you like to keep it old school and ask your mom or mother in law to activate a phone tree? Sometimes, a dear friend or family member may post the child's arrival - details and all - on social media. If that doesn't bother you, no worries, keep trucking. However, if you don't want folks to make an announcement, you could post something either on your front door, refrigerator, Facebook or Instagram page that says, "We have waited nine long months for our little angel to arrive, please allow us the honor of announcing his arrival."
Plan ahead - what will you do at a birthday party or when you are in public? If you don't want your child's picture taken and posted, you will have to think ahead.
Even if your child is already Earth-side, you can always stop and speak up. Tell them - No, don't post her picture online. If someone does post a picture online, send them a message or call them and ask them to take it down. Keep in mind, some people may never have thought about this before.
As I began to research for this podcast episode, I saw that there are a few articles out there. I found some on Huffington Post and some mommy blogs. I will link them all in the show notes. Though you are probably in the minority, I think this is going to become more and more common. SO! Should you or shouldn't you? These are some of the highlights of my research:
The oldest article I found was written in September 2013 by Amy Webb on Slate. I love the title and subtitle: We post nothing about our daughter online: Nothing. It's the only way to defend her against facial recognition, Facebook profiling, and corporate data mining. I can end this podcast right here. I am definitely, team no sharing. However, I will continue. I think she is aboslutely right! She goes on to say,
"Knowing what we do about how digital content and data are being cataloged, my husband and I made an important choice before our daughter was born. We decided that we would never post any photos or other personally identifying information about her online. Instead, we created a digital trust fund."
That Huffinton Post aritcle is about two mothers. One who shares everything about her child and another mother who does not share anything. I found it interesting that she does not share because her husband is in law enforcement. Good point there!
The Huffinton Post article also mentioned that you should only upload images that are 640 by 480 pixels. That is because the image will appear pixelated if someone attempts to replicate it. Woah! I didn't know that.
Another article in the Huffington Post discusses birthday parties and social platforms. As if picking out the right diaper cream isn't terrifying enough - how in the world do you figure this one out? The author of this article interviewed Dr. Tama Leaver, Senior Lecturer in Internet Studies at Curtin University (which I think is in Australia) and she recommends 1 - gauging the personal preferences of parents before the party or 2 - only sharing pictures in a private facebook group. She also says and I'm reading from the article here,
"In the event another parent does post a picture of your child, and you don't agree with it, Leaver says it's important to remember your way isn't necessarily the right way -- it's just a different approach to what is still a relatively new situation.
"No one is posting these pictures maliciously," Leaver said. "And that's what can make it so difficult to negotiate -- because you can feel like you are impinging on someone's joyful sharing."
I found a book called Raising Your Child in a Digital World written by Dr. Kristy Goodwin. I've been spending some serious time on her website. I've really enjoyed reading her blogs. She has tons of information about digital health - essentially, how to manage all of this screen time. I'mma tell you right now, I'm about to order her book. I've never heard of this term before: Sharenting. Sharing our children's daily lives with others.
I really enjoyed reading this part of this particular blog post:
"I want us to pause and carefully consider the consequences, potential safety risks and (powerful) messages we’re sending our kids if we archive every moment of our kids’ childhoods, or their private milestones via our social media channels.
What messages are we sending our kids about taking and sharing pictures of other people if we’re constantly snapping and sharing snaps of them?
Are we missing the moment if we’re so preoccupied with digitally capturing the moment to our camera roll?
Are there potential safety risks if we share pictures of our kids online? Do we even know where can their images end up?
Are we becoming the’ parenting paparazzi’ who snap and share huge numbers and sometimes inappropriate or insensitive pictures and videos of our kids online?
What are the ramifications of parents sharing their children’s images and information online?”
Dr. Goodwin cited another document about the legal risks of parents shaping their child's digital footprint. Here's a bit of the abstract:
"Children have an interest in privacy. Yet parents’ rights to control the upbringing of their children and parents’ rights to free speech may trump this interest. When parents share information about their children online, they do so without their children’s consent. These parents act as both gatekeepers of their children’s personal information and as narrators of their children’s personal stories. This dual role of parents in their children’s online identity gives children little protection as their online identity evolves. A conflict of interests exists as children might one day resent the disclosures made years earlier by their parents."
The link to this document is in the show notes and it's written by Stacey B. Steinberg. This document is amazing. I dove right in.
Here's a helpful tool! On Common Sense Media, someone posted a similar question to yours. If someone posts a photo on Facebook of your child, you can fill out a form and Facebook should take it down. From what Facebook says, if the child is under 13, the request should be granted. If you child is between 13 and 17, they will not take action unless the child is mentally or physically unable to report it themselves.
Alternatively, many parents choose to post pictures of their children online. The biggest reason I hear - to keep in touch with family.
Here's my closing thought:
I believe that all of you are making every effort to raise your child in a safe and loving environment. I know you will do what is right for you and your family.
Works Cited
Webb, Amy. "We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online: Nothing. It’s the Only Way to Defend Her Against Facial Recognition, Facebook Profiling, and Corporate Data Mining." Slate, 3 Sept. 2013, https://slate.com/technology/2013/09/facebook-privacy-and-kids-dont-post-photos-of-your-kids-online.html.
"Why Some Parents Do (and Don't) Post Photos of Their Kids Online." HuffPost Canada, 10 Sept. 2018, https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2018/09/10/parents-post-photos-of-kids-online_a_23522801/.
"Why Posting Pictures of Kids on Social Media Doesn't Float Every Parent's Boat." HuffPost Australia, 7 Feb. 2016, https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/2016/02/07/can-i-post-photos-of-other-peoples-children_n_9184560.html.
Goodwin, Kristy. "Sharenting: What Parents Need to Consider Before Sharing Pictures of Their Kids." Dr. Kristy Goodwin, https://drkristygoodwin.com/sharenting-what-parents-need-to-consider-before-sharing-pictures-of-their-kids/.
Steinberg, Stacey B. "Sharenting: Children's Privacy in the Age of Social Media." University of Florida Levin College of Law Faculty Publications, 2017, https://scholarship.law.ufl.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?referer=&httpsredir=1&article=1796&context=facultypub.
"'Pause before You Post': How to Share Your Kids' Photos Safely Online." Today, https://www.today.com/parents/kids-privacy-educates-parents-sharing-photos-online-t126349.
"Facebook - I Want to Report a Photo or Video That Violates the Privacy of My Child." Facebook Help Center, https://www.facebook.com/help/383420348387540.
